Sunday, May 13, 2012

Rookie Mistakes - A Short Series

As the time gets shorter before BLOOD ON BLOOD comes out from the great folks at Snubnose Press, I have quickly realized that I have no clue on how this is all gonna shake out in the weeks to come.

Now Frank, my annoyingly talented, experienced and veteran writing pardner no doubt has the next 6 months mapped out with appearances up and down the west coast. Yours truly here, on the other hand, will be stumbling up to the start line, 'coming out of nowhere with tears in his eyes' and no idea of where or how in the HELL I got here. I'll be staring off into space when the starting gun goes off and once I do start running, I'll trip coming out of the blocks....and if it's the hurdles, I'll hit every one as I careen down the track.

I will need a LOT of damn help here okay?? This will be the first of a few editions of what I'm calling Rookie Mistakes:

Book Signings;

Now HEY, I'm in the selling business, been selling food nationally and internationally for as long as dirts been around. Been in little hot stuffy offices, been in gleaming posh boardrooms, been in meetings with translators and in towns you've never, EVER heard of. Dealt with some of the biggest assholes you could imagine - literally characters out of some of the stories you've written - but luckily, some of best people you could imagine too. So what the hell, what's the big deal with a book signing right? I'm not some kid, I don't spook, I'm a damn good bullshitter -  refined over the years, aw schucks/thank you maam/yessir, or I can do the NY - Manhattan thing too. If I don't know, I'll sound like I know. I can sell screen doors to a submarine....So what the hell, what's the big deal with a book signing right? What am I whining about?

Well, I'll tell you the big deal. I have good instincts, that's the big deal. Like real good instincts. I can read tea leaves for cryin' out loud. And I AM spooked. Here it is,....I have this vision of 3 people all day, 2 of them think I'm an idiot and a pretender, the minute I say 'hi'....and the third one got the book mixed up with another one and thought I was somebody else. I might be wrong on this, it could 4 people all day and 3 of them think I'm a poser.

Here is what I want and need from you folks - Book signing stories, advice, successes and dismal failures. I want it all, the good, bad, do this, DON'T EVER do this. Cough it. Hep' me now.


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